So yesterday when I was driving I was thinking. I seem to do most of my thinking when I'm driving. Anyway something came over me. It was like hitting a fast forward button and every thought of anything and everything played through my mind. Alls I could think about was ALL the things I needed and wanted to do. Everything from wanting granite counter tops, a cute convertible mustang, needing to take the kids to the dentist, that stupid bill I still had to pay, finding someone who's life a could make a difference in, Chris one day soon getting his drivers licence, Enrique growing out his I'm related to the devil phase, Wondering if Mariana will forever be my perfect princess of a daughter, The "HAIR" if when and how is it gonna fall out. (come on you guys knew I had to throw that one in there) I decided at that moment I needed to step it up I was loosing it. I have spent the last 6 weeks of my life basically sitting here having my own pity party at times, not feeling well at others and letting time just past me by. I'm going to go back to work! I'm tired of just sitting here thinking about this crap. I am gonna work as much as possible from now until Oct 13th. So long as I'm feeling like I can do it. I may have to take a couple days for the 9/23 chemo. But thats ok. I'm gonna get my granite counter tops. Will it make me happier? I don't know but, its a goal something to work towards. Something else to put my mind & focus towards. Now lets hope work can get me back on the schedule ASAP.
9/10 & 9/11 These two days are the worst suckiest of days in my book.
9/10/01 My mom passed away from lung cancer. I think about her everyday and since going through all of this wishes she was here even more. I don't know how she faught this fight for soooo long. It can be very exhausting at times. And of course we all know about 9/11 what a horrible day for sooooo many people in the world. And now this year 9/11 Jesse's grandpa passed away. What is with theses days?
I've been reading a lot lately. Right now I'm reading a really funny book its called Are you there, vodka? Its me Chelsea. SOOOOO funny! If anyone has any suggestions for good books or movies I'm open for suggestions. I"m gonna start collecting as I will need something to do after surgery. Hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful day. I"m taking the kiddos to the zoo. I'm trying to do as much as possible with my kids as once I have surgery I won't be able to do much for quite some time.