Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The road has become longer and more bumpy.

The bone scan I had done on Saturday was GOOD! It came back nice and clean. :)

Monday - A day I wish never happened. It was awful. It was human torture. Almost the worst pain I've been in. Kidney stones was right there with it. Anyway it was pretty bad. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
I thought and was told it would be done under twilight. I can totally handle this. EGH WRONG!!!!!
The doctor comes into the room to give the details for the procedure and answer any questions I may have. He explained that I would NOT be under any sedation or twilight. That in fact I would be awake and aware of exactly what was happening. That there was a 25% chance my lung would collapse and that there is a 35% chance of internal bleeding. All of which would be normal and there would be nothing they could really do for it. Oh yea! Who the hell signed me up for this? The Dr. was very matter of fact seemed to have no feelings or sympathy. At one point I said so your telling me your going to stick needles through my chest to my lungs and I'm going to feel all of it. Well we will give you some paid medication that should help. Ya let me just tell you the "Pain meds" he should of just saved them for the next patient it did NOTHING!!!!!  I had a complete and total break down during that procedure. I knew it was coming eventually. I just didn't think it would be at that moment as I had four needles sticking out of my chest. The nurse says to me as I'm balling Whats wrong? Lets just say she is lucky I couldn't move at that moment. The last four weeks of my life have been very hard and this procedure put the icing on the cake. It was a reality check. This is only the beginning of what is to come. The worst part was when he removed the last needle. He said to me ok on three big breath in. Oh Dear GOD HELP ME! He pulled it out as fast and hard as possible. I'm not sure how my lung was not dangling on the end of it. I had extreme back pain. The nurse said yep its normal we probably hit a nerve. Oh gee well thanks can you fricking give me something to at least take the edge off. Two pain pills later still had an extreme amount of pain. It was very hard to breathe. I also had gargling of the blood from my lungs. That was disgusting and scary. So long as it was not more that 2-3 tablespoons of blood at a time it was considered normal.  After the procedure I went to recovery for several hours. So long as I didn't move and kept my breathing suppressed I was ok. When it came time to stand up forget it. The drive home was a long torturous one. BUT BUT BUT I made it I'm here. Never EVER again. Oh the kicker was he told me there is a 10% chance this would need to be repeated. Hahahahahahahahahahaha ya right NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!   

This I thought was going to be the last test. But once again I am WRONG!

Today 8/25 Got the "CALL" yet again. I have a carcinoma tumor in the left lung. AHHHHHHHH!!!!
My treatment has changed I will start Chemo asap. My first Chemo session will be on 9/2.  I will be scheduled for lung surgery asap and then will go back to finish chemo then the bi lateral mastectomy with reconstruction. When healed from all that a Hysterectomy. So when its all said and done I will be a bald, half lunged, postmenopausal woman with a great looking rack! :)  Sounds like a ton of fun huh? BRING IT!!!!!!

So since chemo is starting sooner than I had planned I thought I would try and make this loosing the hair process as FUN as possible. Any ideas? I thought about getting several different hair cuts and taking fun girly pics with lots of makeup. Wig Shopping? MMMMMM not something I thought I'd ever do but theres a first for everything. WOOOOO they are expensive. I'm gonna go check out a wig place in Algonquin tomorrow. My understanding is they have over 2000 wigs.    

I will be having a echocardiogram sometime over the next couple days, and will attend a chemo therapy teaching class where I will get my chemo schedule, prescriptions and details of my visits to the Kellogg Cancer Center.

So until next time, Love you ALL! Mmmmmmwah!


  1. Mandy!!! ahhh!! I dnt know wut to say.... :\ Im sure u dont want to hear; "Im so sorry for what ur going thru, or you'll be in my prayers" (which you always are and will be) One thing for sure is to never give up and I can for sure say that u seem like ur a pretty strong trooper. Yesterday I was at the store and saw a pretty pink ribon keychain, for the first time I did not think twice before buying it. You are the first person I've ever met that is battling with b.c. and all I can say is that I am going to (and ur fam) be there for you and support you 100%. Yes we might not know eachother so well but I still consider you fam, along with the rest of the Gutierrez and Ramos fam. :)....about the wigs....Girl...Mi mommy used to wear them all the time! Only cuz she got so tired of dying her roots all the time, I think you should even try shaving some designs on the side and paint leapord spots on it!!! lol..joking! haha. but trust me, there are some wigs that dnt even look fake at all!! stick with real human hair though, synthetic hair gets ruined faster specially after u wash it a couple of times...well ya!! and best of luck in your surgery.... <3 ~Yuri~

  2. Thanks Love! Ya did hear that real hair is better but its exspensive too! I'm trying to think of somethig creative. :)Your support means alot thanks!

  3. Mandy, OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!!! I'm so sorry this is all happening to you! CANCER TOTALLY SUCKS! You are one strong woman, I don't know if I could have done what you did.

    You will beat this and when you do there should be one hell of a party!!!!

    Take care!

  4. Mandy!!! I am so sorry about your latest news! You are in my prayers!!! I know you are a strong women and you will kick cancers ass!!! Love ya girl!

  5. Mandy,
    How can you make me laugh amd cry in one blog update. Your attitude is amazing and insperational. Joe suggests a samurai haircut- don't really know what this is but he says it will make you a fearless warrior. I am thinking you would do great in a mohawk- died pink of corse. I am proud of you and inspired by you. Continue to be brave and fearce.

  6. Mandy,
    Ha!! I agree with the comment made me laugh and cry in a matter of seconds!!! I really admire your courage and humor in a time like this, you truly are an inspiration. About all this hair and wig situation, let me know if you are interested I can get you good deals and hook-ups from various of our beauty suppliers from the salon I work at.....I know good quality wigs are not cheap girlfriend! And if there is any service that I can provide for you, please just let me know I do house-calls for mi familia!!!
    Much Love, Carol <3

  7. OMG! Come wig shopping at my place ASAP!! Multiple stores with so many wigs to choose from. Silly and serious.
    LoVe u big sis.

    U know the P#, USE IT!


  8. Mandy, you are unbelievable! You are an amazing woman and when you are all done kicking cancer's ass, you will have a great story to tell. Gina and Kirby

  9. Mandy, We never met, but Michelle told me about you. I lost 1/2 a lung 2 years ago. The surgery was painful and t was a year before could wear a bra again, but I made it, and so will you! My prayers are with you. Fran

  10. Mandy, you're a rockstar. You inspire me. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you or the family. You will beat this.
    ~ Meghan

  11. Mandy, your positive attitude will bring you through this. Our prayers are with you and your family. - Mike C

  12. Mandy - I'm so sorry that everytime you seem to digest and be ready for a plan of action, they pile another load on you! I pray this is it! Again- your humor and strength will get you through this! We are all here for you! God Bless you!!! Again, call on us as needed - we are here to help with the kids, give you a ride, or take you out for a drink to try and laugh/or cry about things. However we can be there for you. : ) Kim

  13. Mandy...let me know what you decide with your hair! My mom never shaved hers. She wanted to but I knew she wasn't ready for that emotionally/physically so I refused to do it and she was much happier in the end. I will be more than happy to cut your hair if you want it gone!! I'm here for you girly whatever you need!!!! Just call!!


  14. Mandy... I know I haven't said much. Today is the first day I cried for you. I am in denial. I will drive to any chemo sessions I can. Put me first on the list of people to take you. I am not working yet so take advantage of me. I am all yours. Love, Shannon M

  15. Mandy ... So very sorry to hear of all the problems you're having with the insurance company. Now is not the time you need to worry about that kind of stuff. Saying prayers for your successful treatment and recovery. Let me know if there's anything we can do for you.
    HUGGS! Collette

  16. Mandy,
    I was so sorry to hear your news that I have spent the last couple of weeks trying to come up with the right thing to say...and then I realized there is no right thing. You and your family have been and will remain in our prayers. Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you.